by B.J. on 7/30/2003 03:44:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Instant Anger

The pang that burns every time I feel slighted. It's usually over the littlest things, mainly when I'm driving. I felt slighted in particular this afternoon when some cocky shaved head teenager punk in the right lane of a two-lane street straighted sped up, got ahead, and cut me off with his burnt out BMW towards a one-lane street with parallel parked cars on that right lane. It felt like I lost, just got defeated. Quick to retaliate, I aimed a loogie on that fucker and sort of got the front of his car. But as soon as I saw Cressa get irked, I wish the moment would rewind so I wouldn't have gone so fast and so I could have swallowed that loogie. Instant anger got the worst of me, yet again.

Instant Anger 34834987392899392438
Me 0

Ever since I got this blog, I've been able to say anything I've wanted unmarred by opposing opinions. I've said all the random shit going on in my head and all the ideas and things I've been thinking about. With all this freedom to say anything for almost a year, I haven't been as shy in public affairs as I once was (but still incoherent). And that's good for the most part. The bad side to this unshyness is that I have been acting more impulsively giving no time for my thinking to catch up. And back to how people cut me off. I get mad because I think I lose even though I know it's really something extremely extremely meaningless. I've invested too much emotion into this driving hard and racing.

I think I've hung up my umm. . .heavy foot, because my racing days (freeway and sidestreet) are over !

 

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by B.J. on 7/28/2003 08:03:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Holding Me Down

The sustainer music. The two songs in front sound like intense Gamebreaker 2 music from NBA Street 2, God's very own game, while the last song is a chill-in-the-late afternoon type rap song with its laid back but intense lyrics and the chorus in tagalog. All the songs also simultaneously scream "Biker" and "Barbie" at me. MMMaybe I've just been spending way too much of my weekend time at Toys R Us.

Letssingit.com is the shit for finding lyrics.

Black Eyed Peas
"Anxiety"

I feel like I wanna smack somebody
Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain't goin' out bro (no, no, no)
I ain't givin' into it (no, no, no)
Anxieties bash my mind in
Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain't fallin' down bro (no, no, no)
I won't lose control bro (no, no, no)
Shackle and chained
My soul feels stained
I can't explain got an ich on my brain
Lately my whole aim is to maintain
And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin' out propaine
My train of thoughts more like a runaway train
I'm in a fast car drivin' in a fast lane
In the rain and I'm might just hydroplaine

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from oozies
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won't give into it bro (no, no, no)
Gotta get myself back now
God, I can't let my mind be
Tell my enemy is my own
Gots to find my inner wealth
Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can't get caught (no, no, no)
I can't give into it now (no, no, no)
Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions
Only I know what's up
I'm filled up with pain
Tryin' to gain my sanity
Everywhere I turn its a dead end infront of me
With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety
Got me feelin' strange paranoia took over me
And its weighin' me down
And I can't run any longer, yo
Knees to the ground

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from oozies
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety

Black Eyed Peas
"Fly Away"

When the world changes, you adjust
So, on this joint right here we about to take flight ya'll
(Oo ooo) Check it out ya'll (Oo ooo) check it out ya'll
Yo Fergie what ya gonna do? (flip it up)
Yeah, what we came to do, show these people how we gonna do (mix it up)
Yeah, its Black Eyed Peas ya'll
So, check it out now (ay)

You're here, so gone
This dark has got suddenly turned into dawn
I know you've already been here too long, too long, too long
Although you won't see me fall from grace
You step on my solace you walk away
My demise you'll never know
I'm letting you go

(Fly away now)
Flip it up flip it up get back on the truck
Got to keep moving keep reppin' it up
Mix it up mix it up time for the next stop
You got to go now and fill up yourself
(Fly away now, fly away now)
Switch it up switch it up go hop on that bus
Don't need to blow the horn I'll be tough, hey

You take me from me
With you forever, but darling I see
The world is who you belong to, not me
So I set you free

(Fly away now)
Flip it up flip it up get back on the truck
Got to keep moving keep reppin' it up
Mix it up mix it up time for the next stop
You got to go now and fill up yourself
(Fly away now, fly away now)
Switch it up switch it up go hop on that bus
Don't need to blow the horn I'll be tough, hey

I be fallin' up never fallin' down
'Cause I spread my wings and I glide around town

Fly, lover go
Find your nest, find your home
(Uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)
I miss you so
Spread your wings, let it flow
(Uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)

I be fallin' up never fallin' down
'Cause I keep it on a higher level, elevated ground

Flip it up flip it up get back on the truck
Got to keep moving keep reppin' it up
Mix it up mix it up time for the next stop
You got to go now and fill up yourself
Bout to get gone baby (fly away now) Yeah, get it gone now (fly away now)
Switch it up switch it up go hop on that bus
Don't need to blow the horn I'll be tough, hey

Get back on the truck (yeah)
Got to keep moving keep reppin' it up
Mix it up mix it up time for the next stop
You got to go now and fill up yourself
Bout to get gone baby (fly away now) Takin' flight now (uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)
Switch it up switch it up go hop on that bus (yeah)
Don't need to blow the horn I'll be tough
Flip it up flip it up (takin' flight now) (uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)
(Gettin' gone baby) switch it up switch it up (takin' flight now) (uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)
Flip it up (fly away now) switch it up (fly away now)
Takin' flight baby (uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)
Doin' whats right now (uh uh oh, uh uh uh oh)

Black Eyed Peas
"APL Song"

La-La-La�..

Lapit mga kaibigan
At makinig kayo (listen up yo)
Ako may dala-dalang balita galing sa bayan ko
(Listen closely ya�ll)
Nais kung y pamahagi ang mga kwento
Ang mga pangyayari nagaganap sa lupang pinangako

(Yo every place got a ghetto, this� my version of it, check it out)
Listen closely ya�ll I got a story to tell
A version of my ghetto
A life felt for real
Some would call it hell but to me it was heaven
And God gave me the grace, amazing ways of livin�
How would you feel if you had to catch a meal
Build a hut to live in, to eat and chill in
Havin� to pump the water out of the ground
The way we put it down, you�d like what is around
Like land for farmin�, river for fishin�
Everyone helping each other whenever they can
We makin� it happen, from nothin� to somethin�
Thas� how we be survivin� back in my homeland

{Chorus}

(Yo it�s been a while but I�ve been back home to my homeland this whats goin� on)
Man it feels good to be back at home (back at home)
And it�s been a decade on the journey all alone
I was 14 when I first left Philippines
I�ve been away half my life and it felt like day
To be next to my mom with her home cooked meal, man
I felt complete, my emotions I feel
Now life has changed for me in the u.s.
But back at home man (life was a mess,
I guess sometimes life�s stresses gets you down,
On your knees, o� brother wished I could have helped you out.)

{Chorus}

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by B.J. on 7/27/2003 05:27:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Trippin'

Happy Korean War Armistice Day 50 Years ago !

Just to let you know, that this will be a really bad post because I'm tired, but the topic is something that has recurred in my head ever since I was a high school junior in AP US History. In direct contradiction to my digitalramen post, the neurons in my head are on overdrive; they have not downgraded, but overgraded. And this overdone neuron firing is tiring for me.

Let me begin the rant:

People are trippin' . This society dominated by the 'want' continues its assault on the need. People don't need a house in the Hamptons. Wants deserved to be charged. Material wants as a business are completely obliterating material needs. No (or barely any) need for needs. Don't know what I'm talking about ? Check out your liquor store and all dayumn brown people lining up for this the latest 148 million dollar jackpot. My parents themselves have probably spent over $400 the last few years by giving in a mere $1 each time they wanted to play the lotto. We could have definitely found a use for those 400 bucks to paying off stupid credit cards or something.

Unless I'm selling something :sigh:, I don't tell people what to do with their money because it's their business, but what rich folk do with their money creates too much separation from the rest of society. It's just getting worse.

Zion I sung it best in this song called. . .Trippin':

Original master, architect
Intel-lect, respect
My heart full of splinters
Agitating, so frustrating
Letting dreams stay as dreams
What are you waiting, for?
Feel the score, deep in your center
Immaculate is the conception enter
My dragon ways, for so many days
I rode on a ship with a hull full of slaves
A foreign land, foreign mind, foreign time
A foreign design to keep my people blind
I'm, a rebel in a system that don't give a {fuck}
Where CEO's feed your death
To earn a buck
And people get stuck
Followin the trends
Of a TV generation
But where does it end?
You can say amen
But you really got to feel it
Then every time you see a snake
You'll reveal it

[hook]

Seem like everybody trippin'
Or is it me, bein normal nowadays
It'll drive you crazy
Go to work 9 to 5 everyday, no retreat
You got to have a dollar
Just to get somethin' to eat
It seem like everybody trippin'
Or is it I? Crazy lady walkin around
Shoutin curses at the sky
Instrumentals be the lullaby
Rhyme stimulai, now come along
And vibe as we praise most eyes
You be trippin'
Why is you trippin, why is you trippin'?

[Zion]
Now in this rap consortium
There's a whole colosium
Of fake rap cats
Who tax human beings
Just a micro-cosm
Of a larger macro-problem
I sit with my pen and pad
Imagine ways to solve 'em
You can call me a dreamer

But I do not need a Beamer
To validate existence
I'm blessed in every instance
False pretense
Is what angers me the most
I'm good at counter attacks
Don't try to play me close
Don't toke toast, just roast
With my rhythm and give 'em
A hundred percent of what i'm livin
If it seemed like super ???
God must've lied
When he told me he will die
On the road that i fly
Keepin' me high
Rockin till the day that i die
If i told y'all people once
???????????????????????

why is you trippin? why is you tripppin?

[hook]

[Zion]
Most of us settle for less
Which really ain't fresh
I travel east to west
To chart progress
I found the common denominator
To always be stressed
And make me loose my breath
To think about the death
That happened when we rappin
But we just keep clappin
I pause for a second
Respect to the dead...
And let it enter in your head
Too many things on my brain
In this wicked game
TV, fear, pain,Will leave you stained
Welcome to the other side
They said it never rained
You'll never win a game
Where the rules always change
First a college degree
Now a PHD
But if you got black skin
You need at least about three
Combat, in the illest ???
Verbally, with the solar energy
To let the people be free
Because we, are ?????

[hook]

Our society is going down the shitter in terms of actually helping out disadvantaged people. It's trippin' over luxuries when there are still a lot of needs.

While "hella" people still do charity (which isn't the best way to help IMHO, read here), our population continues to grow and the gaps between middle and working class are heightened. A lot of folk in the media seem to be fairly liberal even to the point where a corporation like AOL starts reporting conscious stuff such as how the media might be to blame. That tells me that corporations have merely found safe issues to be liberal and in with it to broaden their appeal. These corporation folks seem to be individually liberal rather than the liberal that effects change because change could possibly threaten their business. Basically those in the media can't do anything, but if they do, it's for 'charity' or they are painted as some type of 'radical.' Even the most proactive and concerned of us without the burden of media in activist groups such as Environment California do barely anything to help disadvantaged people as they themselves are becoming self-interested corporate entities full of standards and quotas to meet.

I can't really blame people, the middle-class, or anyone for this trippage in help to disadvantaged because we all have this reactive nature. For example, when someone A needs someone B for something, someone A will kiss someone B's ass up to the point where someone A can taste the poo. People only become proactive when they feel or think that something positive will result. . .(this isn't finished). . .

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by B.J. on 7/26/2003 12:29:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Rules are not standards.

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by B.J. on 7/24/2003 12:06:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

In conclusion, there is no conclusion.

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by B.J. on 7/24/2003 12:05:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

The Context of My Posts. . .Again

I've only written when I've been emotionally balanced, at the extreme of happiness, and the extreme of madness. Short bursts of these emotions and ideas usually give me the power to post anything. There has yet to be a post written when I'm just disappointed and down. So let this be the first post out of homeostasis.

The thing I've noticed about these slow and downer times is that my nighttime dreams have been more concrete and real.

First dream was about picking some earwax in the shape of rectangular butter out of my ear. It was like I accomplished something; like I cleared something up. Damn was I sad when I did not find a rectangular-butter shaped earwax on my side. It would have been fun to frame that or something.

I had a dream those damn Environment California fuckfaces again, inspired by a rant along with Jonn (for all the jobless and searching, he also recommended this site). I came back to a stoic office compared to the light and bright atmosphere I had experienced. The crew leader I worked with, Brooke, noticed me. She looked confused and told me that Eli, the ivy league director of the whole sham/scam, would momentarily be telling me to leave. So Eli came and said, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." This time instead of taking it, I stood firm and said, "I have a few questions." I forgot what those questions were, just that they were not sufficient enough to shake even a smoothie. I felt unsatisfied once again, and finally woke up.

During these downer times, distractions are good shit. I played basketball and talked about LSATs and anything on TV with my homey named Mike. Life feels good when you think you're making an impact, and that's what happened playing basketball, dissing TV, and talking about LSATS.

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by B.J. on 7/22/2003 01:19:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

OK This time I really fixed that July 19th blog. Now that I've read over, I think I can understand it.

 

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by B.J. on 7/21/2003 09:20:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Alright I fixed up that July 19th Blog.

 

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by B.J. on 7/21/2003 09:08:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

A Couple of Words About NBA-Related Affairs this Weekend

First off, the Bulls signed the hometown favorite, yet sometimes volatile Scottie Pippen. If you've seen my away messages on AIM about "Scottie Pippening fools", this is the guy I make reference to. When I say I'm "Scottie Pippening fools", it usually means that I'm playing some tight-ass defense, passing the rock, making fools look good, and leading the team to yet another win. Scottie has been away for 4 years, and now, at age 37, he plans to retire in Chicago. But first, he's got to get these current Bulls into the playoffs.

These current Bulls lacked: experience, consistency, the knowledge of defense, the knowledge of rebounding, a plethora of shooters, and overall, just wins on the road (3 wins, 38 losses on the road compared to 27-14 at home). This team has the ability to do everything it takes to win as evidenced by wins over the Lakers, Nets, Warriors, and pretty much the whole East, it's just a pretty young and basketball dumb-ass team full of budding stars who could jump out of the arena but would not know the first thing about teamwork. Let's see, there's the Mr. And 1 Jamal Crawford. There's the two tanks who couldn't jump if they pressed it on a controller in Marcus Fizer and Eddy Curry. There's the running turkey, Tyson Chandler. A circus of a bunch.

Scottie Pippen is expected to be the guy to clean up this mess and teach these guys how to harness their talent. He prides himself on all the elements the Bulls lack, thus the perfect fit. Even though he is a paleontologic 37, he still managed to lead the Blazers to an impressive 41-23 record with him in the lineup (The Blazers were 9-9 without him) as only a fraction of what he once was averaging 10 points per game. He's only played up to 60 games out of 82 the last few seasons, so hopefully his legs and back can hold up. Hopefully the young guys and maybe even some of the older egotistical guys like Jalen Rose and the lazy lackadaisical speed demon Eddie Robinson can learn a thing or two.

Go Bulls.

Secondly, Kobe Bryant is charged with sexual assault. My stab. . .err. . .guess at the truth is that Kobe instilled some kind of fear into her, and then she consented. I actually respected Kobe and his simplicity, but it seems like he blackmailed this girl into having sex with her. It's been re-iterated up and down the tube that he did not do anything without her consent. And the girl feels like she was forced. Something's got to give, and the truth lies somewhere in between the two sides' stories. Considering that she's as old as I am, she probably just felt very violated by Kobe suckering her into having sex with him and it seems like she will prey upon how she got fooled and how this assault has damaged her. Kobe's defense will counter her claims by sacking her credibility first and foremost, and then tinker with the county's definition of sexual assault.

With all that said, the penis makes us guys do really stupid things; it's like walking everywhere with a loaded gun and getting pissed off at someone (Wookie, There's Something About Mary). I highly doubt that Kobe physically forced her to have sex with him if that is what this sexual assault is about. This seems more like a civil case. Kobe is not a criminal, but for possibly blackmailing her, he should pay millions to the damage she's incurred to her reputation and her name in general. Now by the Kobe fans and the media, every little detail of her life is being exposed. I'm not on anyone's side, but it's unfair how the alleged victim is getting this kind of treatment. Jeeze, a message to the guys reading this: un-Load before you lock !

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by B.J. on 7/19/2003 11:48:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Don't Be A Slave to Specialization

Happy 1-yay Annivay yesterday to mi A-mory-A-Nay. This is dedicated to you.

I know the world out there is more than just 'liberal' and 'conservative', but I'm just trying to categorize to make my posts much clearer.

The more engaged people become in something that interests them, the more they lose sight of the things surrounding the something. People lose context of society when they become involved in something like their job, their own problems, etc. For example, I got way too involved with my Environment California crap, they kicked me, and now I'm here not supporting them and making sure everyone at least thinks for themselves before supporting them when they otherwise might mean well.

People become very engaged in new discoveries and innovations. With new discoveries, there comes more specificity with the discoveries. The discoveries and innovations cause people to want things to perform a very specific function and then some at a high quality. The iMac Ipod comes to mind as an example. People want it to listen to music and then do all these other things, like playing MP4s, etc. (Wibs !) As a result, people hold high expectations in general. For example, people who have air conditioning in their cars would really get annoyed if they rode through this 90 degree LA heat wave in my non-air conditioned 1989 Celica because they've been used to air conditioning.

With new discoveries and innovations, there also comes more new rules and boundaries. Discovering and exploring is liberal and free in nature, but once the positive results, the finished products, such as iMac iPods come into use by society's individuals, conservatism spreads itself even more in society along with this desire for specificity. Conservatism is based on establishing more and more standards.

In contrast to this conservatism and a quest for specificity, I associate the liberal and the free with a kid-like, ambitious nature. For the liberal and free, it's about the process and fun. "Grown-up" old society clamors for specificity. For this group its about the results. Ironically enough, when it comes to causes for society like poverty, the two groups of "liberal" and "conservative" switch their objectives; the liberals clamor for results, and the conservatives focus on the process. Conservative folks generally like to appeal to individuals rather than society.

When it comes to causes for society like poverty, life in general for society, conservatives focus on the process. It's about focusing on hunger by highlighting the work of food banks and homeless homes and suggesting mental help. It bolsters the conservative's image. But giving the impoverished folk food to eat solves their problems extremely temporarily. They show that the process is working. This show of process has probably suckered even some liberal folk into shoving poverty to the backburner as a non-problem. Basically, this focus on process is not about getting to the root of the problem, which is about helping the impoverished get off their feet.

Getting to the root of the problems: I'm not sure that Environment California did that. Just another corporation to battle other corporations. They don't appeal to the people as people. They tell people what's best for them. And most of all, they focused on highlighting this process of canvassing door-to-door rather than immediate social change. It's probably good that they paid young kids to canvass door-to-door, but it really does nothing for the cause. It's futile. I feel like they had more resources to raise hell with the politicians themselves. Basically, they should not subject themselves to rules and regulations such as a standard rap or even going door-to-door. I think they should do something ala truth.com and make noise with the media. Media at least is expected to be impersonal and thus has a better chance at cracking impersonality and this society of specificity.

This society's inherent tendency towards specificity makes sure to attack/appeal to you on the personal, psychological level. For example, people have become too dependent on technology. It's like how do we know that our cars won't break down when we try to get to an interview on time ? Specificity creates all these enormous expectations. And when expectations are not met, people drown themselves. . .endlessly. . .

Most people in America are so used to things working, quickly and efficiently in accordance with standards. We get mad when we can't work quickly and efficiently in people's eyes. It's like we're competing with machines we've created. For example, when someone does something amazing like bench press 1000 lbs, we talk about how "that dude is a machine." And when some dude can't bench 1000 lbs, that dude becomes some kind of a wimp, probably in his own eyes and the eyes of some others :cough: Erwin.

Standards like those (that 1000 pounds means you are strong) are just something that legitimizes the bullshit that some guy is strong and some other guy is weak. As a result, a lot of people don't end up doing things for themselves and only for themselves. They do it for any other reason than to feel good about themselves. And when people don't feel strongly about themselves, they can't feel too strongly for others. The media exaggerates "weak" people's problems and magnifies 10 fold how weak and strong people can be and look like. In reality, there is no standard people have to live up. In the end, it's up to people themselves to find out what's right and what's true.

Fuck goals and expectations.

Do it for yourself.

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Fuck Environment California

by B.J. on 7/16/2003 09:19:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Do Not Support Environment California

Let me just say from the onset that these people, Environment California released me within less than a week. I simply did not meet their quota because I did not think I had to. The shady people of Environment California didn't even know there was a quota to meet within a few days. I was lead to believe that I had all the time in the world to improve and become a better canvasser, but they did not give me the chance. As a result, they have fractured my confidence towards accomplishing anything quickly. So much for caring for the people (well they did before my fatal 3rd day acting as if I was the best thing since sliced bread; I didn't even exist during the 3rd day). I'm against the organization for what they did to me and what they are doing to other people, an not necessarily against the environmental issues. So do not take this post as an excuse to be apathetic towards social issues. This is a post directed at Environment California, and Environment California only. The stuff in this post is through my own observation.


In a nutshell, here's what's wrong about them in my eyes (with wrong meaning that they hurt the consumers and are not really progressive thinkers at all):
1) They are yet another business first, consumer second organization
2) They confuse and sucker you into joining their group
3) They make you lose the bigger picture; you should decide what you spend your money on
4) It's highly ineffective

Environment California is a group of lobbyists ranging from college students to career advocates that barge into your neighborhood and ask you for money and signatures door-to-door. Here's their sales pitch:

"Hi. How are you?

My name is __________ and I'm with Environment California! We're the statewide environmental group.

Right now we're working to fight air pollution here in _________. *

Unfortunately, almost 90% of the state's electricity comes from dirty power plants. We know that pollution from these plants causes asthma, birth defects, and lung disease.

We could dramatically reduce this pollution if we got more of our electricity from cleaner sources like solar power, so we're working to pass a law that would make solar more affordable.

The utility companies just want to build more dirty power plants, and they've got some powerful lobbyists...but we can definitely win if we build enough public support, and that's why we're out here today.

Here's our statement of support (hand over clipboard, point to statement). This outlines our work.

The best way for you to support this effort tonight is to join as a member of Environment California. We suggest a contribution of $60 for the year, because it's our members that give us the resources it takes to win.

With your membership, we'll send you a newsletter during the year to keep you posted on our progress. And the best way to contribute is with a check."

*connotes Southern California, Los Angeles or town.

First of all, they make the issue confusing as to what exactly are people's options in supporting their assembly or congressmen. They give the impression that you have to join their group as the only alternative to fighting the organization. Secondly, Their canvassers are not told to research the issues and be informative, but rather be salespeople. It's an elitist organization in itself as the best salespeople or "fundraisers" stay on and canvass with beginners holding scripts every day. They do not fight for the underrepresented. The people who do not have a script and talk about it with enthusiasm are the more experienced salespeople, which means they've lost some genuine or realness. Thirdly, they are the traditional type of environmentalists and they do not recognize racism and classism as issues to the cause like the new and improved environmental justice movements. Environment is what people make of it and they deserve to decide what to do with it without being misled. Don't impulsively throw away 15 dollars for becoming a member of their group. Finally, the kicker is they will ask you for 60 dollars and eventually make their way down to $5-15. My advice: Just take some information from them, pick their brains (at least the experienced ones) and scram.

Don't support Environment California or at least do not fork over more than 10 dollars when they come to your door because you will regret it and this organization doesn't give a shit. CALPIRG, Western Service Workers, I still support because they are people/consumer-based. And CALPIRG, Western Service Workers, are disassociated with this group. Those consumer-based organizations are not as exclusive and cutthroat as Environment California, who heavily target middle to upper class people (that means watch out if you live in Santa Monica, Valencia, Manhattan Beach, Long Beach, Pasadena, Agoura Hills).

There are reasons CALPIRG distanced itself from Environment California as a different entity on which I am heavily speculating: 1) Environment California is not really for the consumer and their rights, which is what CALPIRG does 2) CALPIRG does not canvass, and try to keep together a fake smile 3) Who gives a shit about pollution ? A little bit of pollution in the lungs helps build strength in the lungs anyway. 4) CALPIRG actually empowers the underdogs and gives voice to those who do not have any, whereas Environment California smothers the big dogs in advocation of the opinion that they are working for the people.

In comparison with my experience as a Western Service Workers canvasser, I found myself not caring for the people as much as I thought they needed be. This Environment California group is definitely about business and making a lot of money instead of for the people because these canvassers get paid $275-475 a week depending on how much they sell, which is where half the funding from Environment California goes. They are about getting to as many houses as possible. In fairness to them, the canvassers work hard going to about 100 houses a day. However, as one of their leaders told me, no one would canvass if it was not profitable. To sustain profits and remain a business, they garner up an issue every season of the year. Another ringleader talked about how car pollution accounted for 70% of the pollution in the air rather than the actual power plants. So everyone just get a Honda Civic or Toyota Prius and call it a day. But right now the moneymaker is the Solar Homes Bill, and they're drumming up support for that. The solar bill is in assembly now.

If you are interested in passing the solar bill, you can write to assemblywoman Carol Liu of Pasadena and George Nakano of Manhattan Beach for example. You can find and contact other assembly members by visiting this site. Or if you feel like appealing to the national government you can contact Barbara Boxer or Senator Feinstein. You could also contact the U.S. House of Representatives. For the California state government, you can find your state senator here and find your senator's e-mail dress here.

Don't let Environment California think for you. It's largely ineffective anyway. Sure they will point out victories in the environment, but they never state their involvement with the victories. Ask em about that.

People don't need to be pressured into giving up money for something that they do not have the full truth about.

People deserve to know and find the truth on their own. Take my observations however way you want to, except as libel or any kind of tort because my info was just taken from observation and my own opinion and instinct.

I felt like I just got my 6th criminal star on GTA 3. . .

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by B.J. on 7/16/2003 04:36:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Confirming Cressa's Observations and Weird-Ass Links

You are DORY!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Great.

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by B.J. on 7/12/2003 05:46:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Fuck This Pillsbury Dough Boy Po-Po

This is my 3rd hate post out of my last 5 entries. What can I say ? I hate unkown people for offending me, a complete stranger. All 3 of them have been elitist shitheads with root beer jammed up their noses. I admit I don't/didn't know any of their intentions, but they all tried to prove that they were better and more powerful than me. Out in the real world full of strangers, I hate being reminded that I'm only 19 years old, and that I'm virtually powerless. And remind me is what those tricks did. Maybe it's best for me to stay at home before I actually do something stupid like throw a penny at some speeding Camry that cuts me off.

But anyways, this one's directed towards this fat, bearded slob of a cop. He looked like a reject from the Sopranos. The deli called and they want their meatball pastrami back. So anyway, I almost missed a parking spot and went backwards to try and get the parking space. The police were behind me. But I backed up anyway and parallel parked in that hilly space within 3 maneuvers. However, in slow motion, bully cop with the big plop (I mean stomach) and ranger Bob stopping just for bully cop to say something, gathering up all his breath from his asthmatic rage, "Yyyyooouuuuuu neeeed drrrrrriiiiiiivvvvviiiiiinnnnnggggg claaaaaaassssssseeeesssss maaaaaan." It would've been fun to grab an Oakland-made wooden baseball bat and see how many donuts I could whack out of his belly with each swing.

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by B.J. on 7/12/2003 10:29:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Old Lady Neighbor



I always wonder what she's thinking about. She's always yelling at her tenants from across the street even though she's as powerless as my alarm clocks when I sleep. Through those pains of elderness, I still see her gardening every day. But mostly I'm left staring and thinking all these scenarios she's been through. I wonder if she's Catholic. I wonder how World War II impacted her life. I wonder how she was when she moved here. I wonder if she's had kids. Heh. I wonder if she ever drove a car. I wonder if she was hot. I wonder if she was once a very kind person. I just wonder where she's been.

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by B.J. on 7/11/2003 11:40:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

You Are Really Not that Smart

Today was my first day on the job, working from door to door, asking people in Pasadena if they want to give air pollution a good kick on the ass. It was alright, nothing special. But one person I confronted door-to-door pissed me off in particular. She made me feel like a kid, by smiling smugly and then spilling her credentials.

I don't care if you graduated from MIT and John Hopkins. You're still from planet Earth, eating, sleeping, shitting like the rest of us and there's nothing that you know that can't be figured out without a little more specialization. I could still kick you and your dalmatian dog on your melon heads so hard that your eyeballs would pop out. Then I'd throw a Beaver at you and make sure it would chip away on that head of yours. It can't be that filled up, you're just the beneficiary of being adept with society's norms and institutions.

"I know more science than you ever will, honey." Doh.

OK, if you were truly a smart, and intelligent academic, you'd: keep an open mind, and actually enlighten me on what actually works better. What is better and more cost-effective than solar energy ? If so, why haven't you shared it with us neanderthals ? Are you primed to make a lot of money from this secret ? Why aren't you doing this for the good of society ? You were probably bullshitting me anyway, and I can't believe I fell for that.

Anyway, today, ozone levels are going on at 200. That is extremely unsafe air quality. Air pollution is contributing to that, and the earth is slowly becoming a melting pot. . .

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by B.J. on 7/10/2003 09:56:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

A great website to visit.

I will post there probably every week since I got attached to this blogspot thing. I'll write every week there about whatever, but try to be more poetic and composed about it. Err. . .I don't know. Thanks to Mr. Wachi for another site to work on !

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by B.J. on 7/10/2003 08:29:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Fucking Shithead Fireman

This goes out to that asshole who ruined my fucking day on the way to LACC on Lucile Street, 90026 zip code in Los Angeles at about 8:00 AM. You tripped up like Anna over a string. Congrats, Vin Diesel without a weasel. Don't you feel better for classlessly barking at me to "WAIT !" Who the fuck do you think you are ? You wouldn't have done that if I was a rich, middle-ager in a Mercedes. You can't yell "WAIT !" to a fire, so why the fuck are you trying to tell that to me. You looked about as stress as a toddler after a 12 hour nap, so the "stress" stories don't fly here. Bitch, your wings are clipped (as is your brain, which hasn't been used in about 7 years, you know those tough grade school years). What the hell are you doing ? Stupid fuckhead, it was your fucking fault for holding my and everyone else's day.

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by B.J. on 7/08/2003 07:41:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Dayumn, I'm going to Miss First Year of College

Yes, the date is correct. It was me that was just kinda slow in realizing. Cha don't know what chu got til it's gone. I have this tendency to bring stuff up when it's not around.

Anyway, I'm going to miss 2 things: learning the anthro stuff and community activism in the Spring quarter of 2003 and the events in Prescott. I realized this two days ago in the middle of Summer.

First of all, I doubt I'm going to learn anymore exciting academics than I already have in the Spring quarter of 2003. But like my psych teacher in high school said, I could've just liked it because it predicted the upcoming events, meaning Summer. So with Summer in mind all quarter, I guess I revved up and took in the learning experiences. From the Western Service Workers to the History of Randomness, it was a great adventure of the mind and spirit. I began asking questions in the History of Randomness class about who exactly to trust in which I learned the power of dichotomoization, and we kept a journal sort of like this blog to rant about anything. And Community Activism was just the shit with Erwin, and these girls named Joy, Megan, Jenny, and Raj. It was just fun watching them all. I don't think any of us really paid attention, but the best part of that class was the massive 150-student out of 200 "study group" for the take-home essay exam.

Secondly, my first year in college (or at least how I view it in retrospect, neglecting my sleepwalk the first two quarters) was about the people that made shit happen. And most of the shit happened in Cowell College, Prescott 419. It will still seem like a distant memory, unless "Jimmy and Benson" happen to be people I can trust. At least for the 2002-2003 school year, it was about Bulls' basketball, A's games for ''Yell, NBA Street and NBA Street 2 and Yell's and 'Well's inability to get better in them, Well's music, Wibs' domination of his "black controller" and NBA 2K2 at the normal rather than the difficult setting, wallyball, coffee stories, my Scottie Pippen-like play versus Kenny, 'Yell, and Wibs, Wibs' and my winning streak as a duo when I'm not constipated (which has tacked on 3 more wins since the end of the school year). Dayumn, that's a helluva lot of basketball. . .thanks for sharing and tolerating my interest, it was really, for real, a good time. Now I've got a single and got to actually get out more when I have the time. . .

So, what's in store for next year ? I'm going to try and learn and ride a bike this summer. . .

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by B.J. on 7/07/2003 10:17:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Learning: For the Quick and the Slow (Keith !)

Off went my baby Cressa to school. Aww, she's growing up before my very eyes ! Anyways, :ahem: I hope she does not feel like a bum, cause this age old institution of school apparently dissolves all feelings of being a "bum." It should dissolve those "bummy" feelings because it gives her a chance to learn. And to learn is to succeed, which a bum obviously cannot do.

In my randomly concocted opinion, school is the place where students learn practical-to-society things such as science and history. It is indeed a place to get a job.

In this rush for a job, learning stuff like science and math becomes nothing more than a tool by which society manipulates you.

Here in the grand ole US of A, school is a place to put info into your head just so you can access that bit of info faster. Learning is very dependent on time and result in this society, especially in this age of 2 million GHZ a second. It's evident in these tests like the SATs in which you have about 45 minutes to bust through 25 math questions or something, getting a score based on how much you knew during the time period. This measured and calculated time is something brought to life by the desire of money and respect; the commonplace idea that you need to be at point x and point y at some points in the day for some reason. Learning basically makes you a robot in this system.

So here's how to make people learn stuff and get some meaning out of it at the same time.

Ideally, learning from the start should be about untainted comprehension. The only time limits should be a due date. And this is what is great about writing essays for all subjects that are not named math, like I did for all my classes. And if you can comprehend, you're set. People are able to express themselves in their own comfortable way. People aren't judged according to a standard someone had set, which had previously favored others. Of course, there needs to be some standards, but ones that actually work for the disadvantaged people like extensions and stuff like that.

It may sound slackery, but it's the best way to "learn." To learn is to make things meaningful to yourself.

But we need to change the standards set by society by putting people from different walks of life in positions of power.

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by B.J. on 7/06/2003 10:18:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

Perfection. . .

There is no such thing. So get over yourself.

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by B.J. on 7/05/2003 10:37:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Cleanliness Is Evil and Destroys Lives

One of the philosophies I have developed during this past year has been to work efficiently rather than to work hard. Working too hard often results in compounded disappointment, and aggravated stress, etc. An efficient piece of work is often the better result. With that said, I fail to see how cleaning in general be it your living space, your car, or even yourself is an efficient piece of work.

Por ejemplo, yung nanay y tatay ko's (my mom and dad's) cleaning forced me to spend money on buying lost parts to my electronic stuff. When I got home for the summer, my room was full of my mom's nursing crap up to the toilet seat (there's no toilet seat in my room, I was just trying to be funny) on top of funky decorations such as a big fat plastic heart with the word "love" cliched across the heart in glitters and sparkles and a Persian style bedset (which has since been replaced by my old raggedy, comfortable old comforter). So I had quite a time sifting through all the glitz and glamour for my electronic hookup thing-a-majiggers, before reluctantly shelling out 10 bucks on the lost electronic stuff. Cleanliness was the cause for this inability to locate my items. Cleanliness is evil.

It's a topic Wibs and I went over a few weeks ago, and just now it's dawned upon me that cleaning up in general isn't all that necessary. Cleanliness is just too much work, which cancels out efficiency because its sort of a waste of time when the shit gets dirty again. You can count the times I've washed my clothes when I was living in my dorm for 9 months on one hand. My car's exterior was as dusty as a grandfather's fart. And me. . . you figure that out (or you can ask 'Well, 'Yell, and Hane). I'm comfortable being a dirty, shaggy pu. . .eh. . .foo. . .eh. . .person. I'll clean stuff up, but only when I feel the need to and know that it won't get dirty for some time.

What took me over the top with this "cleanliness isn't necessary" was when I went to go wash "Blinky (my little red car named by Sharles) on a Thursday. It was about 90 degrees, which made the car dry off quicker. As a result of this quick drying, my windows have now have those little not-quite-so-transparent teardrops on the windows, bringing my car back to where it was in terms of clearness and visibility minus some dirt. At least I got the interior clean, but it wasn't worth four dollars.

So in just these 2 little micro-examples, I've spent fourteen dollars trying to organize and clean shit up. And fourteen bucks is something I would kill for as a 19-year old college kid ! With my budget, cleanliness can definitely be sacrificed.

Another hit to clean-living, is this new groundbreaking research. There's a possibility you can get asthma from clean-living. Getting asthma is most likely due to the lack of tolerance built up the lungs to dirty stuff. I wouldn't be called "asthma boy" by such people as my Godsis if I had just grown up on a farm or something. Thanks mom and dad, for destroying my chance at a prestigious, glorious career as a marathon runner.

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by B.J. on 7/04/2003 06:10:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Life Thru Basketball Part 34638

Ya know something incredibly sic
I learned about life in general
In a clip when I tried to rip
Like Pip on my basketball trip;
Flip a trick cause even if you brick
Itll get the opponent ticked and
Get you feeling cool and slick
It loosens the grip and your lip
Calms down the kicks and licks
Moral of the story is to take a dip
With a trick of something wick
Ed and hit while the iron is nipped

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by B.J. on 7/04/2003 12:20:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

krrrrrrrrrrrrashin' the standards and my stream of consciousness as of 12 pm, indep day 2003

inhonoroftheunitedstatesofamericaanddmocracyoratleastreplacethewhormakingemwithmorepeoplefromallkindsofbackgrounds
don'tchathinkitbealittlefairifthatwouldhappenthererhardworkersinevryeconomicclass'nethnicbackroundnwowthererlotzappleon
dabeachnwowicantstringalotofwordstogethernholyshitanotheroldwomanonascooterncrapaguywaflashlightonnbcvenitoisthe
place2brightnowwutthehelldoidoathometherezalwaysawaytoaccomplishsomethingrightitllcomeintimeithinkjustthrowupatrick
wenurdown2mixitallupyaknowwutsupwiththisdamntennisontvmanshitihateallthemfolksontvwheredaflipsatmofoofcoursethey
beingpunkeditseitherwhiteerrblacksobootothatnoofftosomefolkerswhomightreadthisshitbutthisismyblogspacesoletmeexpress
wutiwanttosayilllookonthisyearsfromnowihopeandlaughatwhatadumbassiwasbutheymaybeimnotsodumbmaybeitstruewith
whatisayrightrightitsjustaboutrelatingexamplesrightfuckinpostandpublishrightaboutnow

 

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by B.J. on 7/03/2003 06:27:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Who would you rather be ? Michael Jordan or James A. Naismith ?

I pick Naismith because since I want to be a hubristic, capitalist bastard, I want to be in the general history books, rather than just the NBA basketball history books. Naismith's accomplishment as an innovator is lasting in the general context.

Would you rather create and invent one thing or be the best at one thing ?

In the bigger picture, towards the advancement of society, it's about either being the best in your field of study or creating something new. To be the best, you first have to be an expert. Expertise, in my humble opinion, is a practical-to-society thing that requires that you to know the standards of your specific field, set through people from different areas and eras.

The standards of a field of knowledge set don't reflect on how those regional biases of the people from different areas and eras came to a conclusion and gave credence to a standard. Without these regional biases we don't get the whole story. For example, cars are used everywhere and they operate on an internal combustion chamber using up oil. But then, there are differences in cars engineered in Germany as to those in Japan, and consumers, my friends like to highlight how Japanese cars are all quality and all that other crap. The point is we are not understanding exactly why Japanese cars are all quality; we are not understanding the processes of process-driven things such as science. But fuck, I want to understand that shit. And you should too because it is more useful than some frat party where 700 sorority girls get fucked by 10,000 Abercrombie frat boys.

What people become "experts" in are very specific and therefore, limited. The rules and standards of what people know also evolve with the times, which shrinks the value of 'expertise'. For example, no one cares about the bubonic plague, but apparently, it's making some kind of a comeback. The experts could not prevent that shit from re-occuring even though it is treatable, and from 1000 - 3000 people still get it annually. Innovators, such as Louis Pasteur, notorious for experimentation and linkage, bumped into the cures. Innovators of ideas, technologies, whatever. Experts are there to fill in space, job openings.

So the choice should obviously and overwhelmingly be Naismith, innovator and creator.

I bring this question of being an 'expert' or 'innovator' because experts are exactly what Asians are becoming. It seems like we're settling for middle-classiness. For example, Indians from the Harvard, MIT-like IIT university are merely becoming top entrepreneurs and not helping mother ole India erect itself from the ashes. These IIT people have so much power, but they use it for themselves and don't want to create anything new. I understand that institutions and groups of people in general are the discovery-makers nowadays, but it still feels like they're training just to get jobs because we're still in a mode of survival. And that's a killer to explorative, adventurous traits.

In social groups, I see people wanting to be the best, rather than some kind of innovator. From far away, it's the NBA players who are filthy rich but do jack shit for the community. In my own circles, many a time I see people get caught up in wanting to be Michael Jordan (Hane ! But she's not who I'm thinking about when I make these descriptions). Most of these types I've encountered thru the Filipino family party system, in my humble opinion, are likely to brag to their friends in a condescending way about what school their kid goes to in comparison to some other kid. And it's done in such a subtle way that it doesn't visibly upset anyone, but enough to get under the skin of the competitive. That competitiveness is what has lead to some distance and strain in some of my family's relationships. People don't try to be above competition and focus on other things. It leads to cheating and other tactics that lead to nothing. This kind of be-a-Michael Jordan-mindset is likely to accomplish jack squat towards any advancement in society.

I'm not saying that innovators have all the answers; they're just more likely to bump across something that improves society. I'm also not saying that people should just forget about becoming experts, just that people shouldn't stop at that. In fact, to be an innovator, people do have to get acclimated with some of the standards and then pick a bone to explore. It's just about thinking within yourself and exploring all your instincts and linking it up with other ideas. There's nothing to fear with being adventurous. Peach baskets here we come !

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